finding elsewhere.

21st october, 2024.

the urge to be consumed might just consume me. i feel the necessity of it scream inside me. stomping its feet, pouting, tearing out its hair, folded arms shrieking PAY ATTENTION TO ME.

i want to be adored. to be glorified. to be worshipped. yet i feel like i am stood in someone else’s shadow whilst everyone else postulates about anything but me.

i want to be left alone but i want to be the centre of attention. there are two of me. each clawing at the buttons that control me.

why the fuck don’t you want to fall in love with me? stop being so boring and let me be your everything.

i am my own worst enemy. i crave the feeling of being devoured. kiss me. lick me. pet me. tear me apart and swallow me whole. let me take a nap in the space between your ribs. do it now or leave me alone forever.

i am pawing at your chest. let me in.

i promise to play nice.