finding elsewhere.

29th november, 2023.

in anticipation of him arriving, i am making a mental note to remember to smell his neck. i want to bury my face deeply + breathe all of him in.

the palpable intensity of knowing he’s around the corner. seeing the same things i do on my daily walks. he’s in my neighbourhood. the same flowers i stop to smell swooning as he passes them. my cheeks red hot with nerves. the flat never cleaner with a little choreographed mess. my heart anxiously waiting to shake hands with his. i’m blushing under my clothes. my ears fizzy with memories of his tongue there last time.

i know everything about him. i know nothing about him.